Dissolution of Form in Cell #11
Here is the artist's personal statement of the motivation behind this piece: "After about 9 days at the California Vipassana Center during a service period where I spent my time cooking, cleaning, and practicing meditation, I started to feel deeper levels of energy coming up from the core of my being. I am not really sure how else to explain it because it was an experience so far removed from my normal daily life and there isn't much I have to compare it to other than maybe a dream. Physical forms felt soft and malleable in a way. It started to become difficult for me to go to sleep at night because of incredible amounts of energy I started feeling and so I would spend most of my nights practicing meditation. Towards the beginning of that particular meditation course I stopped drinking tea with caffeine and took in very small amounts of food. On day 9 after spending much of the day meditation I decided at 10pm that I would have two tea bags worth of green tea and spend the entire night practicing meditation in the pagoda. A little background on what a pagoda is, a pagoda is a structure with small rooms where each individual is assigned their own room and the only activity that takes place within the pagoda is meditation. No food or water is brought into the pagoda and the atmosphere is very serious, to the point where some people don't want to enter their respective room in the pagoda because they find the energy so strong it can be intimidating. At 8pm I brewed two tea bags worth of green tea and began to sip slowly remembering the fact that I hadn't had caffeine in quite a few days and so it would affect me very heavily. I am normally very sensitive to caffeine and I must say it's quite comparable to a psychedelic experience for me sometimes. I laugh a little because I even remember the type of tea it was it was, (Newman's Own Organic Green Tea). I remember seeing the label and thinking to myself, ""Oh nice all the profits go to charity, this should do the trick"" and boy did it ever. I do have to admit however that although the rules for the pagoda say that the hours for meditation are between the hours of 4am-9pm I decided to go against these rules and started my night meditation period at around 10pm. By this time I had finished about half of the green tea I had brewed for myself and was starting to feel anxious although a bit more energized and ready to stay up for the night. After entering the pagoda around 10pm I got up and left for a few minutes to use the restroom and to finish the rest of my green tea. During this hour and a half or so where I was sitting in the pagoda, I felt intense pains where my heart is located, which seemed only to get stronger and stronger. I was taught that the best thing to do is to remain "equanimous" with these painful sensations and not to let them affect me, the result of this being that the mind becomes purified at the deepest levels and wisdom of the true nature of reality starts to reveal itself. After coming back to my cell in the pagoda and finishing the rest of my tea, the real difficulties started for me. About an hour after I had finished the last of my tea I felt an incredible wave of fear wash over me the likes of which I have never experienced in this life, much scarier than dangling 3000ft off the side of a cliff even. Intense pains in my heart started to overwhelm me at the core of my being. I thought that for sure there was something wrong with me medically and that my heart would give out. My heart rate felt much too fast for the body to handle and it seemed my heart would give out as I felt the intense thud of each heart beat. The experience was simply too much for me (or rather for who I thought I was), ""surely I am about to die right here” I thought, “there is no way I can be experiencing this much pain and fear without my body giving out on me”. And the strangest part? The only thing I am doing is sitting alone in a small room 6 feet by 6 feet by 8 feet about. So why am I feeling this way? It went on like this for many hours into the early morning until something happened which cannot be fully conveyed with words and concepts, because as cliche as it may sound, it was an experience truly beyond words and concepts. An experience I have learned is best not to chase afterd. What I can say however is there was a specific point I remember where I turned on the lights which were turned off for the rest of the night and I looked down at my body and was absolutely sure that I was dying. The vibrations in the body became stronger than anything I have ever known in this life and while looking at my body everything began to dissolve and as the fear went away the consciousness that I call self was no longer bound to the body but became everything around the body and was not limited to the body. The experiencer became the experience. The body became its surroundings. The emotion of deadly fear became mere vibration and understanding. I remember this experience clearly, and even remember being in cell 11 which is why I originally wanted to call this piece of artwork ""Complete Dissolution of Self in Cell 11"" which I later changed to ""Dissolution of Form in Cell #11"". I would love to keep this work of art with me for the rest of my life but I also understand the freedom and appreciation that can be cultivated by learning to let go of the things which we hold most dearly. I also understand that a good portion of the proceeds from this piece will end up benefiting other wonderful people who decide to go to these Vipassana Meditation centers located around the world. I hope this work of art finds it's perfect home in someone else's heart, because it will surely be in my heart for the rest of my days alive as Max Metta Matles"
This piece was created by first layering a variety of colored oil media onto the canvas in the form of a portrait of a women's face which is no longer visible except for a very small portion of one of the eyes. Dozens of different colored powders were mixed with epoxy resin and layered one on top of the other countless times eventually covering and "dissolving" the form. Other techniques involved in the creation of this piece include but are not limited to breathing paint onto the canvas with a glass pipette, allowing paint to flow down the canvas by holding the canvas straight up and down while shaking it, and throwing epoxy resin with a paint brush.
(4ftx4ft)
Here is the artist's personal statement of the motivation behind this piece: "After about 9 days at the California Vipassana Center during a service period where I spent my time cooking, cleaning, and practicing meditation, I started to feel deeper levels of energy coming up from the core of my being. I am not really sure how else to explain it because it was an experience so far removed from my normal daily life and there isn't much I have to compare it to other than maybe a dream. Physical forms felt soft and malleable in a way. It started to become difficult for me to go to sleep at night because of incredible amounts of energy I started feeling and so I would spend most of my nights practicing meditation. Towards the beginning of that particular meditation course I stopped drinking tea with caffeine and took in very small amounts of food. On day 9 after spending much of the day meditation I decided at 10pm that I would have two tea bags worth of green tea and spend the entire night practicing meditation in the pagoda. A little background on what a pagoda is, a pagoda is a structure with small rooms where each individual is assigned their own room and the only activity that takes place within the pagoda is meditation. No food or water is brought into the pagoda and the atmosphere is very serious, to the point where some people don't want to enter their respective room in the pagoda because they find the energy so strong it can be intimidating. At 8pm I brewed two tea bags worth of green tea and began to sip slowly remembering the fact that I hadn't had caffeine in quite a few days and so it would affect me very heavily. I am normally very sensitive to caffeine and I must say it's quite comparable to a psychedelic experience for me sometimes. I laugh a little because I even remember the type of tea it was it was, (Newman's Own Organic Green Tea). I remember seeing the label and thinking to myself, ""Oh nice all the profits go to charity, this should do the trick"" and boy did it ever. I do have to admit however that although the rules for the pagoda say that the hours for meditation are between the hours of 4am-9pm I decided to go against these rules and started my night meditation period at around 10pm. By this time I had finished about half of the green tea I had brewed for myself and was starting to feel anxious although a bit more energized and ready to stay up for the night. After entering the pagoda around 10pm I got up and left for a few minutes to use the restroom and to finish the rest of my green tea. During this hour and a half or so where I was sitting in the pagoda, I felt intense pains where my heart is located, which seemed only to get stronger and stronger. I was taught that the best thing to do is to remain "equanimous" with these painful sensations and not to let them affect me, the result of this being that the mind becomes purified at the deepest levels and wisdom of the true nature of reality starts to reveal itself. After coming back to my cell in the pagoda and finishing the rest of my tea, the real difficulties started for me. About an hour after I had finished the last of my tea I felt an incredible wave of fear wash over me the likes of which I have never experienced in this life, much scarier than dangling 3000ft off the side of a cliff even. Intense pains in my heart started to overwhelm me at the core of my being. I thought that for sure there was something wrong with me medically and that my heart would give out. My heart rate felt much too fast for the body to handle and it seemed my heart would give out as I felt the intense thud of each heart beat. The experience was simply too much for me (or rather for who I thought I was), ""surely I am about to die right here” I thought, “there is no way I can be experiencing this much pain and fear without my body giving out on me”. And the strangest part? The only thing I am doing is sitting alone in a small room 6 feet by 6 feet by 8 feet about. So why am I feeling this way? It went on like this for many hours into the early morning until something happened which cannot be fully conveyed with words and concepts, because as cliche as it may sound, it was an experience truly beyond words and concepts. An experience I have learned is best not to chase afterd. What I can say however is there was a specific point I remember where I turned on the lights which were turned off for the rest of the night and I looked down at my body and was absolutely sure that I was dying. The vibrations in the body became stronger than anything I have ever known in this life and while looking at my body everything began to dissolve and as the fear went away the consciousness that I call self was no longer bound to the body but became everything around the body and was not limited to the body. The experiencer became the experience. The body became its surroundings. The emotion of deadly fear became mere vibration and understanding. I remember this experience clearly, and even remember being in cell 11 which is why I originally wanted to call this piece of artwork ""Complete Dissolution of Self in Cell 11"" which I later changed to ""Dissolution of Form in Cell #11"". I would love to keep this work of art with me for the rest of my life but I also understand the freedom and appreciation that can be cultivated by learning to let go of the things which we hold most dearly. I also understand that a good portion of the proceeds from this piece will end up benefiting other wonderful people who decide to go to these Vipassana Meditation centers located around the world. I hope this work of art finds it's perfect home in someone else's heart, because it will surely be in my heart for the rest of my days alive as Max Metta Matles"
This piece was created by first layering a variety of colored oil media onto the canvas in the form of a portrait of a women's face which is no longer visible except for a very small portion of one of the eyes. Dozens of different colored powders were mixed with epoxy resin and layered one on top of the other countless times eventually covering and "dissolving" the form. Other techniques involved in the creation of this piece include but are not limited to breathing paint onto the canvas with a glass pipette, allowing paint to flow down the canvas by holding the canvas straight up and down while shaking it, and throwing epoxy resin with a paint brush.
(4ftx4ft)
Here is the artist's personal statement of the motivation behind this piece: "After about 9 days at the California Vipassana Center during a service period where I spent my time cooking, cleaning, and practicing meditation, I started to feel deeper levels of energy coming up from the core of my being. I am not really sure how else to explain it because it was an experience so far removed from my normal daily life and there isn't much I have to compare it to other than maybe a dream. Physical forms felt soft and malleable in a way. It started to become difficult for me to go to sleep at night because of incredible amounts of energy I started feeling and so I would spend most of my nights practicing meditation. Towards the beginning of that particular meditation course I stopped drinking tea with caffeine and took in very small amounts of food. On day 9 after spending much of the day meditation I decided at 10pm that I would have two tea bags worth of green tea and spend the entire night practicing meditation in the pagoda. A little background on what a pagoda is, a pagoda is a structure with small rooms where each individual is assigned their own room and the only activity that takes place within the pagoda is meditation. No food or water is brought into the pagoda and the atmosphere is very serious, to the point where some people don't want to enter their respective room in the pagoda because they find the energy so strong it can be intimidating. At 8pm I brewed two tea bags worth of green tea and began to sip slowly remembering the fact that I hadn't had caffeine in quite a few days and so it would affect me very heavily. I am normally very sensitive to caffeine and I must say it's quite comparable to a psychedelic experience for me sometimes. I laugh a little because I even remember the type of tea it was it was, (Newman's Own Organic Green Tea). I remember seeing the label and thinking to myself, ""Oh nice all the profits go to charity, this should do the trick"" and boy did it ever. I do have to admit however that although the rules for the pagoda say that the hours for meditation are between the hours of 4am-9pm I decided to go against these rules and started my night meditation period at around 10pm. By this time I had finished about half of the green tea I had brewed for myself and was starting to feel anxious although a bit more energized and ready to stay up for the night. After entering the pagoda around 10pm I got up and left for a few minutes to use the restroom and to finish the rest of my green tea. During this hour and a half or so where I was sitting in the pagoda, I felt intense pains where my heart is located, which seemed only to get stronger and stronger. I was taught that the best thing to do is to remain "equanimous" with these painful sensations and not to let them affect me, the result of this being that the mind becomes purified at the deepest levels and wisdom of the true nature of reality starts to reveal itself. After coming back to my cell in the pagoda and finishing the rest of my tea, the real difficulties started for me. About an hour after I had finished the last of my tea I felt an incredible wave of fear wash over me the likes of which I have never experienced in this life, much scarier than dangling 3000ft off the side of a cliff even. Intense pains in my heart started to overwhelm me at the core of my being. I thought that for sure there was something wrong with me medically and that my heart would give out. My heart rate felt much too fast for the body to handle and it seemed my heart would give out as I felt the intense thud of each heart beat. The experience was simply too much for me (or rather for who I thought I was), ""surely I am about to die right here” I thought, “there is no way I can be experiencing this much pain and fear without my body giving out on me”. And the strangest part? The only thing I am doing is sitting alone in a small room 6 feet by 6 feet by 8 feet about. So why am I feeling this way? It went on like this for many hours into the early morning until something happened which cannot be fully conveyed with words and concepts, because as cliche as it may sound, it was an experience truly beyond words and concepts. An experience I have learned is best not to chase afterd. What I can say however is there was a specific point I remember where I turned on the lights which were turned off for the rest of the night and I looked down at my body and was absolutely sure that I was dying. The vibrations in the body became stronger than anything I have ever known in this life and while looking at my body everything began to dissolve and as the fear went away the consciousness that I call self was no longer bound to the body but became everything around the body and was not limited to the body. The experiencer became the experience. The body became its surroundings. The emotion of deadly fear became mere vibration and understanding. I remember this experience clearly, and even remember being in cell 11 which is why I originally wanted to call this piece of artwork ""Complete Dissolution of Self in Cell 11"" which I later changed to ""Dissolution of Form in Cell #11"". I would love to keep this work of art with me for the rest of my life but I also understand the freedom and appreciation that can be cultivated by learning to let go of the things which we hold most dearly. I also understand that a good portion of the proceeds from this piece will end up benefiting other wonderful people who decide to go to these Vipassana Meditation centers located around the world. I hope this work of art finds it's perfect home in someone else's heart, because it will surely be in my heart for the rest of my days alive as Max Metta Matles"
This piece was created by first layering a variety of colored oil media onto the canvas in the form of a portrait of a women's face which is no longer visible except for a very small portion of one of the eyes. Dozens of different colored powders were mixed with epoxy resin and layered one on top of the other countless times eventually covering and "dissolving" the form. Other techniques involved in the creation of this piece include but are not limited to breathing paint onto the canvas with a glass pipette, allowing paint to flow down the canvas by holding the canvas straight up and down while shaking it, and throwing epoxy resin with a paint brush.
(4ftx4ft)